It's FRIDAY

Today, my Philippines Friday isn't really about the Philippines, but I thought it was appropriate because Ben has probably watched this video a MILLION times and laughed the entire way through.  Come on guys, it's Friday, Friday, gotta get down on Friday!

Five Years and Counting

I remember sitting down with Ben when we were first married and talking about our goals and where we would like to be in five years.  I wish I knew where that list was so that I could compare it with reality.  I remember that we wanted to own at least a condo, so we went above and beyond on that one.  I am sure we said something about how many kids we would have, still waiting on that one.  I also am sure we thought Ben would be done with or close to done with his education, also still waiting.  One thing I am 99.9% sure was not on that list was that we would have already lived in 2 states and a foreign country by this time.  No matter how much Ben and I have always discussed the fact that we would some day live in Asia (most likely the Philippines), I know that neither of us thought it would happen this quickly.  What an exciting place to be to celebrate five years of marriage!

I do wish we had those kids and that Ben was done with school, but I would not give up where we are or any of the experiences we have had to get here.  People tell us all the time to take advantage of this time, this time with no kids where it is just the two of us.  Well, we are definitely doing just that! This weekend we took a ferry out to the island of Bohol.  I know some of you are asking why we need to go to another tropical island when we already live on one.  Well, Bohol is like the quaint, quiet, old fashioned, restful, calm, clean, no traffic, no people, no stray dogs, no garbage, better version of Cebu.  We needed a break from this place and Bohol was the perfect place to do it.  We spent time relaxing in a hammock by the ocean, eating great burgers and home made pizzas, climbing the chocolate hills, having lunch on the Loboc River, seeing tiny monkeys and huge pythons, crossing a hanging bridge and just enjoying the history of this place.  We  loved every second of it (maybe not the power outage from 7am to 7pm on Sunday).  We were also mindful of how very blessed we are to be safe and healthy and alive after the horrible disasters in Japan.

I cannot wait to see where we are five years from now!   Happy Anniversary Babe. I LOVE YOU!

The relaxing view

The oldest Christian church in the Philippines (supposedly)

Python....ick!

Tarsiers....tiny, awesome little monkeys native to Bohol

I don't like heights and a "hanging bridge" didn't seem really safe, but it was fun anyway

On our floating restaurant

We went to a butterfly sanctuary, I loved it

The Chocolate Hills (this doesn't even do them justice, they were amazing)

Sunset on the beach

Our resort at night (with no electricity which made it even prettier)

For the rest of the fun pictures go to my album on facebook

Philippines Friday-The Cost of Living

I decided I am going to start a new weekly post called "Philippines Friday".  In these posts, I will share with you something about the Philippines.  I want to record and share our Filipino experience and this will make sure I at least post weekly.

This week I do not have pictures to share, but I wanted to share something else with you.  Recently I have felt a little frustrated with a misconception about living in the Philippines.  People think it's cheap to live here.  I mean...the average income in this country as of 2006 was 172,000 pesos, which with today's exchange rate is about $4000.00 a year.  So, how could it not be "cheap" to live here, right?  How else could people do it?  I have been asking myself this question ever day since I arrived.  HOW DO PEOPLE AFFORD TO LIVE HERE? I guess the first answer is, People live in VERY different conditions here.  (scroll back 2 entries to see how different the conditions are). No, not everyone lives with no running water and no electricity.  But, it is not uncommon to find large families living in very small dwellings and in conditions you can barely imagine. Also, most people do not own or drive cars.  They use the public transportation system, which includes riding trikes (motorcycles with little buggies on the side) or jeepnies. If you want to live in a  home that we would consider "normal", drive a car, eat at very basic restaurants, go to movies once in a while, wash your laundry in a machine instead of by hand, go to a gym, pay for things like the internet, air conditioning in your home and eat "regular" groceries.....it's NOT CHEAP!  I will give you a little breakdown of some of the things we pay for here:

1. Rent for a "decent" apartment about 700sq ft is $700.00 a month in the city, out on Mactan it is a bit cheaper.  (Yes, this is cheaper than the rent we paid in California, but you could DEFINITELY find a comparable apartment in Utah County for this much or less)
2. Electricity each month for that same size house with air conditioning is about $230.00
3.TV is $20.00 a month and only works about 50% of the time
4. The Internet is about $35.00 a month
5. Gas for our car is currently costing us about $5.00 a gallon (and our car gets 14 miles to the gallon, yikes)
6. A bag of Tyson Frozen Chicken (like the one you buy at Costco) is $21.00
7. A 1/2 gallon of the ice cream brands you can get here are about $4.00.  The GOOD stuff (Tillamook) is $9.00 for a 1/2 gallon.
8.  Used cars are very expensive here.  They are actually between 1 and 3x as much as they are at home.  This will be nice when we sell our car, but not nice when you have to buy one.
9. Groceries in general.  ANYTHING organic or imported is at least double the cost of what it would be at home.  Vitamins are about double what they would be at home.  Going to the grocery store is not cheap.

Yes, there are things here that are "cheap", but they are more of the "extras" not the necessities.
1. Eating out.  We have found great restaurants with good food for between $3.00 and $20.00 a person.
2. Movies.  A "normal" theater is about $2.75.  If you want 3-D its about $4.00.  IMAX is about $9.00.  The treats at the movies are cheap.  A soda is between $.75 and $2.00.  The popcorn is like a dollar.
3. Massages.  You can get a one hour massage for $5.00
4. House Help.  You can get a house helper that lives with you. cleans for you, cooks for you, etc for between $50-$100.00 a month.  Obviously, they get free room and board, but still!
5. Manicure/Pedicure: $4.00
6. Haircut for Ben including a head massage $1.25

One thing that really hit me and helped me realize HOW people live here with such little income was when I read in the newspaper the other day that the average Filipino household spends 50% of their income on food!  Now, again, this was in a newspaper and not something I have been able to confirm, but when I read that it made more sense but it shocked me.  How much of your monthly budget goes to food?  Is it 50%?  I know for us it is not, that is just one portion of our budget, not 50% of it.

Anyway, I guess I had to just vent a little today.  Don't get me wrong, we are grateful for the incomes that we do have and the lifestyle that we are able to live but looking around me I realize that the idea that it is "cheap" to live here is a perception, one that hinders the motivation or ability to help the situation get better.  We are surrounded by suffering and poverty and I think this perception only hurts the situation, it does not help it.

PS.  I know some people would see this post as just being negative.  That really is not my purpose.  We are enjoying the opportunity and experiences we are having here.  I think I post a lot about the positives of living here too.  But, I am also not the type of person to pretend.  I say it how it is.  I don't sugar coat things and make them sound better than they are.  It's just not my way.  I hope this isn't seen as being negative, just honest and forth-coming.  Plus, if anyone is moving to the Philippines I want them to be a little more well-prepared than we were:).

Love Your Enemies

But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;  (Matthew 5:44 )

My mom always says, "You can't claim a virtue that has never been put under fire". Well, I am being given the opportunity to claim a virtue, the virtue of "loving your enemy". I am sure I always thought that I was living this principle. But...I didn't have any enemies (at least that I knew of:)). I didn't have to do good to those that hate me or pray for those that persecuted me. I do now. It makes me sad to think of this person as my "enemy". That is a harsh word. But, they do seem to hate me. They do persecute me. They do seem to have no love in their heart for me. I guess maybe it's more appropriate to say that they see me as their enemy. I have to find a way to not respond when this person says hurtful things about me or to me. I have to find a way to pray for them and I don't mean just to mention their name in my prayers, but to honestly and with true intent pray for them. I have to love them, even though they hate me. I have to forgive them, even if they never change. How do I do that? How do I live this principle? Any of you have practice in this area? Advice? I would appreciate all the help that I can get, cause this is hard!

It's Not All Beaches and Sunshine

In the past few weeks I have had the opportunity to go out on visits with the Relief Society President of our ward to some of the most poor and destitute of our sisters. It is shocking to see the situations that many people are living in.  Many children in a one room shantie with no water, no electricity, very little food to eat and no resources to make the situation better. The first time we visited I had this overwhelming feeling, wanting so badly to help them, but also realizing how many people are in these types of situations not only in our ward boundaries, but all over Cebu, all over the Philippines.  How could I help them all?   But this last time I realized that even just a visit, a couple of hard boiled eggs, some bananans, a smile and we have started to lighten and raise them up.  It is amazing to feel the joy of service and the love of people I hardly know.

The bridge leading over to the village where the Escarpe Family lives.  The actual bridge was washe away in flood waters, so this is the makeshift bridge for now. 

Part of the area where they live, in the hills.

Filipinos truly are a humble and happy people!

This is a typical basketball court, ones like this are seen all over the Philippines.  You thought playing on carpet in the cultural hall was hard, try playing on a dirt court in flip flops!

Climbing down to visit the sisters that live "under the bridge"

Member family in their home.  It was literally one room made from wood pieces.  This is the home of the daughter, husband, one year old son and one week old baby girl.  They live under the bridge to be close to the trees so they can take twigs and widdle them into bbq sticks.  They then sell them to local bbq "restaurants".  They are paid 600 pesos a month to do this.  That is the equivelent of about $15 US.

Grandma's house with some of the grandkids.

And you thought walking down the street to visit teach your neighbor was a pain?

This is the home of the Israel family.  They have 12 children, 11 boys and 1 girl and all live in this one room home.  They sell vegetables at the market to sustain themselves.

This family actually has seven kids.  You should have seen the excitement on the kids faces when we brought them hard boiled eggs and sweet bread. 

Their house (which was built by the father)

This older sister and her daughter wash clothes in the river for a living.  Their home was made of bricks, but had a dirt floor and no electricity or running water.

On our way up "the mountain" to visit another sister and her family.  (I slipped and fell on the way down haha)

Last time we visited this family they had no food to even eat that night.  They had spent their money on medicine for the baby and had nothing left for food.  We left a small amount of cash to help. 

This is their home.  It's one room for the four of them and then the "kitchen" on the side.  They make rice cakes for a living that they go and sell on a daily basis at the market.  Their profit is about 100 pesos a day, equal to about $2 US, enough to buy food to feed the family until the next day.



Sister Matthews, the RS President had the brother get us some coconuts.  We watched him climb up 2 trees to get 3 coconuts.  It was pretty amazing!  Coconuts are usually sold for 7pesos each, but she paid him 100 for the 3.  She wanted to give them the money, but wanted to give him the opportunity to earn it. 





Us enjoying the spoils of his labor.  We drank the juice straight out of the coconut and then he cut them open for us and we ate the "meat".  It was great.

After the first time I visited, I was really wanting to know and better understand how I and my family and friends who have so much could help these people who have so little.  I was reading in the Doctrine and Covenants and realized that the Lord has already provided us the answer on how to take care of the poor and the needy around us....we just have to be willing to do it.  Click here  I especially liked this verse: 14 Nevertheless, in your temporal things you shall be equal, and this not grudgingly, otherwise the abundance of the manifestations of the Spirit shall be withheld.

Whatever you do, I hope that you will look at the situations these people are living in and just be more grateful for what you have.  Be grateful that you have food to eat every day, clothes and shoes for you and your children, access to an education, money to buy things like phones, computers, cars, even bikes.  It is a great reminder to each of us to really notice those things that we take for granted every day of our lives.

I hope we can all find ways to serve those less fortunate than us. If you decide you want to help these people here in the Talamban Ward in Cebu, Philippines please contact me.

Other People's Children

Ben and I are coming up on our five year anniversary.  It's hard for some people to even comprehend being married five years and not having children yet.  Believe me, we get questions ALL the time, and some awesome and inappropriate suggestions (but that will be a whole separate post). 

As I look back over the last five years I do realize that through the struggle of infertility we are still surrounded by children. It hit me that many of the funnest, happiest moments for us are about other people's children.  We have had many opportunities to serve in primary, be nursery leaders, work at a crisis nursery and just to be an aunt and uncle to the best kids in the world.  We have been involved in the lives of our friends children, our families children and we have loved each and every one of those opportunities and look forward to more in the future.  I know that each of you appreciate and love your children more than anyone can even imagine but I hope you know that WE love them too and we are grateful to you for letting us be a part of their lives. It means more to us than you know.

Home for the Holdays (Post #8)

The best part of being in Utah was spending time with family and friends, probably 90% family and 10% friends, but my family are my friends so it worked out perfect.  We spent tonz of time playing games and making fools of ourselves playing "Celebrity".  We also spent tonz of time eating.  I got to shop with the girls and Ben got to play video games with the guys.  We did everything we wanted to do while we were home and seriously came back to the Philippines completely satisfied with our trip.  It was awesome!

video games with Aiden and Regan, I actually LOVED Super Mario Brothers on the WII.  Ben caught me playing it all by myself a few times, that NEVER happens.

Cute Jordan and Melissa, sitting at the table ready to play "White, Mormon games" as Ben calls them.

Ben and Hailey "sharing" a Dippidee brownie.  YUM!  We LOVE Dippidee.

Grandma and adobable Addy with her cute thumb sucking

Nice Face Jess:)

Nate

One on the left=my precious daily 44 oz Diet Mt Dew  One on the right: Large size here in the Philippines

Ben LOVING mom's chocolate roll.

GREAT friends, so glad we got to hang out!  We miss our friends, a lot!

Cafe Rio,  2x in 5 days, YUM!

Kevin and Tia Frazier, more great friends we are missing.  Next time we see them there will be another Frazier to love.  Cannot wait!

I had a few other pictures I wanted to post, Adam and Tonna, Rachelle, Kristen....but blogger hates me and would not let me add them for some reason.