Tuesday, January 8, 2008

another update

So I thought I would give you all a further update on our situation. I am feeling much better physically, so that is a blessing. On Friday I went in to see Dr. Watabe to have another ultrasound and to find out what the next step was in the process. The ultrasound was pretty uneventful, I have been through plenty of those. We went in to meet with the doctor, expecting him to go over the info in the ultrasound to figure out when we would be going in for surgery. I was really hoping that everything could wait until after Wednesday, Jan 9th, because I had this business trip that I really did not want to miss. Well, Dr. Watabe walked in, sat down,and said, "remember the blood test we had you do yesterday?". He proceeded to tell us that the normal level for the CA 125 blood test is anything under 35. They expect someone with endometriosis and my issues to have an elevated level, maybe about 50 or 60. My levels are at 2000. He proceeded to explain to me that with such high levels and the type of cysts that I have, they want me to go directly to meeting with an oncologist. So, that was how I left. "Well, you might have cancer, so enjoy your weekend".
I walked out of the office feeling totally fine. My little sister, Jessica, had a similar scare about 3 years ago and it all ended up fine. Then again, my older sister, Kristen, had also had a cancer scare that ended up being a reality. In a way, I think that made it easier to swallow. I have seen someone go through it and, although I would never wish it upon anyone, cancer doesn't mean a death sentence to me anymore. So, my initial reaction was good. I felt fine, wasn't worried at all. It wasn't until later that the fear set in.
I decided to look up stuff on ovarian cancer on the internet. Bad idea! I could not find anything about the CA 125 level being so high and I just didn't know what to make of that. It scared me. I honestly cried myself to sleep that night. I didn't know what to think. I woke up multiple times (the dog didn't help with that, he likes to wake me up). I finally just got out of bed at 5:30 on Saturday morning. I just couldn't sleep. I decided to go to the Temple, which truly was the best thing I could have done at the time. At the Temple I felt so much better. I realized that the Lord has a plan for me. I am doing everything I can to be led by Him, and what happens is His will for me. It may be hard to understand, but I felt a confidence in whatever happens.
Later that day, I finally found some articles that made me feel alot better. There are multiple articles about ruptured ovarian cysts causing such an elevated CA 125. I felt SO much more confident after reading that.
On Sunday, many of my family members fasted for me and our situation and I felt the power of knowing you are loved and supported. Sunday evening I was able to receive a priesthood blessing from two of my brothers, my dad and my husband. That was a once in a lifetime experience and one I will be forever grateful for. My brother, Nate, blessed me with comfort and I have felt that over the past couple of days.
I have since found out that the original oncologist that I was referred to is not covered by my insurance and have had to change my appointment. The situation ended up turning into me having an appointment tomorrow, instead of going on my business trip to California. I feel like I have let people at work down and I hate to feel that way. But, I felt strongly that I must put my health first and no matter how confident I am that I don't have cancer and my situation isn't extra serious, I need to do what the doctors tell me. So, I have an appointment tomorrow morning. We will hopefully be able to get some questions answered and to get surgery scheduled.
Oh, also, amongst all of this craziness, Ben and I have been released as Activities leaders and given new callings. Ben is now the Secretary in the Young Men's Presidency and is so excited about it. I have been called as the 1st counselor in the Relief Society Presidency. Although I am nervous and feel a little unprepared for this calling, I have great confidence in the other members of the presidency and look forward to learning from them.
I know this has been a LONG post and only hope you all realize that writing this down is not only to keep you all updated but just for me to keep record of the goings on in our lives. Thanks for being patient with me!


Rachelle said...

Although you write mostly for yourself it is nice for people to have updates without having to bug you. I am becoming a blog reading addict. You are in my thoughts and prayers and I know everything will work out. Best of luck at your appointment today.

melanie said...

Oh! Carmen.. Thank you for keeping us posted. We will sure be praying for you. I know the Lord has a plan for you... I love you!

Rachel said...

Carmie, I am so glad that you are blogging, I am so sorry for all your health issues right know, but it sounds like you know right where your faith should be! Good luck and I am anxious to hear more and how your appotinment went!

Jennica said...

Hey Carm! Wow. If I don't read a blog for a day or two I get really behind.... I had no idea that any of this was going on until Rachel asked me about you this morning. I am glad that you are blogging it all so we are all up to speed. You will have to give us an update on yesterdays appointment. You are in my prayers!!! Love you.

Rick...the meek and mild said...

You and your family have been such a help to us during our own trials. If nothing else, please know I am thinking of you and if you need help of any sort I am willing to help...Rick