For those of you who don't know, Carmen went in to have a Laper-something-octomy (where the doc drains her cysts) but because of tests that came back positive for cancer our doctor also looked around to see if there was cancer and found no signs indicitive of cancer. The doc took a biopsy of the cysts and the tests will come back next Wednesday but needless to say we were pretty excited and relieved (he's positive that they'll come back negative). Well, I would something spiritual or deep, maybe even philisophical but I don't know what else I could say, except thank you for all your thoughts and prayers. I know that they helped. The doctor did say he found something unusual though, while he was draining the cysts he found what seemed to be a foreign object, that "object" turned out to be an alien. Yes, that's right folks, my wife was harboring illegal aliens, just joking. Seriously though, the alien object was taken to a local research laboratory to be tested, it turns out the alien was a growth, the growth was harmless however it affected Carmen's ability to differentiate her affection towards her husband versus her dog. The object named, carmenlovesherdogmorethanben (it's latin for "carmen loves her dog more than Ben"), somehow had turned symbiotic while increasing in size, it amazingly turned Carmen's affection towards our dog into an infatuation, basically the symbiote injected enzymes into her blood stream altering normal levels of affection. The doctors' and I concluded that it is this reason is why Carmen treats our dog like a child, a human child, that can speak and communicate like humans do when in reality it really can't and that the only thing our dog is capable of is licking itself and eating tampons. The doctors have prescribed medications that will help re-balance Carmen's sanity and diagnosis is that she will be well and whole once again when I fatten and roast our dog on a spigget to eat.
*Please note: there will be a lua-ow at the Crisanto's home in about a month's time.
It's Been Too Long
4 years ago